


Vera Wang

by smilebackwards



Category: Glee
Genre: Crossdressing, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-24
Updated: 2009-10-24
Packaged: 2017-11-04 02:33:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/388724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smilebackwards/pseuds/smilebackwards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I just have to know,” Kurt says. “What possessed you to wear an incredibly ugly dress to a high school that sells slushies in the cafeteria for 99¢?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vera Wang

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/profile)[**comment_fic**](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/) prompt: Puck & everyone, "I'm a stud, dude. I could wear a dress to school and people would think it's cool."

The thing Puck hates about Finn (other than the fact that he gets to be quarterback of the football team and lead singer in Glee and Quinn Fabray’s boyfriend even after Puck knocked her up which should have been a sure-fire way to get her to date him) is that he’s a little mean when he’s drunk.

Drunk Finn isn’t angry, punch people mean, but he’s just mean enough to remind Puck that he once said, "I'm a stud, dude. I could wear a dress to school and people would think it's cool," and then bet Puck to prove it.

So Puck has to prove it, because he doesn’t back down from bets. Especially after the recent sting of having his badassness questioned by a gleek like Rachel freaking Berry.

It doesn’t work out as planned.

Puck doesn’t own a dress (obviously) and he’s between cougars at the moment, so he has to borrow one from his Mom’s closet. Puck’s Mom once told him, “A good Jewish woman never wears a dress that exposes her elbows, knees or collar bones,” and her dresses are evidence that she is a very good Jewish woman. Puck ends up in a hideous green dress that looks like something Morticia from the Addams family would have worn if she’d been a prude. It stretches tight over his shoulders and flows loose over his hips and stops halfway down his shins because Puck is 6’2”.

He gets a slushie thrown on him before first period.

Puck has never hidden in a bathroom stall in his life, but he’s heard that it’s what some of the gleeks used to do when their fragile network of underground gleek spies and sympathizers informed them that he’d just bought a slushie in the cafeteria, and desperate times call for desperate measures.

Unfortunately, he runs into Kurt, who is at the far sink fixing his hair, before he can make it all the way into a stall. Kurt makes the most horrified sound Puck has ever heard and says, “Sweet Jesus, that is the most unflattering dress I have _ever_ seen.”

Puck wants to snap something like, “I bet you have tons of flattering dresses,” but he doesn’t feel he has the higher ground right now and considering the situation it sounds weirdly like a compliment.

Kurt eyes Puck up and down with pained eyes. Then he steels himself and says, “What’s your locker combination?”

Puck stares at him. “Why?”

“So I can get you your football uniform to change into and you don’t have to spend the rest of the day hiding in the bathroom covered in grape slushie,” Kurt replies slowly, like Puck should have worked this solution out for himself.

He totally should have, Puck thinks, ducking into a stall in case someone else comes into the bathroom. “12-34-28,” he offers, through the door, and Kurt dashes off.

Kurt’s back with the uniform a few minutes later and he tosses it over the top of the stall. Puck pulls it on gratefully and steps out. Kurt is still there, looking at him appraisingly. “I just have to know,” he says. “What possessed you to wear an incredibly ugly dress to a high school that sells slushies in the cafeteria for 99¢?”

“Look,” Puck says, embarrassed and depressed, “I told Finn I could wear a dress to school and people would think it's cool because I’m a stud and then he bet me to prove it and I had to do it, okay?”

Kurt puts a hand over his eyes. Puck has really had enough humiliation for the day, so he goes to shove past Kurt and get the hell out of school. Then he realizes that he’s left the dress in the stall, and that’s still his Mom’s dress and it’s not like this shit is her fault even though she should really have some nicer dresses.

He snatches the dress off the toilet and runs it under the sink, trying to get out the worst of the purple stains. Kurt is staring at him again and Puck mumbles, “It’s my Mom’s dress.”

Kurt’s eyes soften a little. He rummages through his messenger bag and comes up with an orange marker that says Tide To Go on the side. “Let me see the dress,” he says, holding out a hand.

Puck gives it to him and watches as the stains disappear when Kurt scribbles over them with the marker. “What the hell is that thing?” he asks, impressed.

“Stain remover pen,” Kurt says, rolling his eyes. “Please. You throw me in the dumpster every other day. How do you think I still manage to look fabulous?”

Puck can’t believe how many times he’s been made to feel like an ass today and it’s not even 9 o’clock. “Look, man, I’m sorry about that,” he mutters, scuffing his sneakers on the bathroom tile.

“Okay,” Kurt replies quietly, like he doesn’t really believe him. He starts scribbling even more furiously on the dress and Puck’s trying to work out how to convince him he’s sincere when Kurt lifts his head and says, “Tell me one more thing. Are you more upset that you were wearing a dress to school or that you failed to make it cool?”

“I’m actually _only_ upset that I failed to make it cool,” Puck says honestly.

Kurt smiles, sudden and bright. He folds up Puck’s Mom’s now-stainless dress neatly and hands it back to him. “You were planning to skip the rest of school today anyway, weren’t you?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Puck answers, confused.

“I have a _fantastic_ idea,” Kurt says, beaming.

\--

They make it back in time for fifth period and Puck feels like this is how the day should have gone all along.

Guys whistle, then do a double take when they realize it’s Puck wearing the knee length blue dress with thin black straps, and high five him.

Santana and Brittany stop him in the hall and ask where he bought it and get pissed when he can’t remember the store name because he’d been dress shopping with Kurt Hummel at the time and Kurt had been flashing around his platinum card and saying stuff like, “You could _totally_ pull that off,” and Puck had had other issues to deal with, okay? They make him lean down so they can flip up the neckline to see who the designer is and “Ooohh” over it because Vera Wang is apparently a really cool chick. Whatever.

When Puck walks into the music room for Glee club, Mr. Schuester chokes. Finn and Quinn’s eyes go round as saucers. Rachel blinks three times in quick succession and Artie rolls his wheelchair towards Puck like he wants to find out whether he’s a mirage. Puck hears Tina whisper, “It’s kind of weirdly h-hot,” to Mercedes who nods fervently, fanning herself with a hand.

Kurt gives him a thumbs up and something between a smirk and a smile, and Puck’s never going to let anyone throw the kid in a dumpster ever again.

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Vera Wang [PODFIC]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/500038) by [Opalsong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Opalsong/pseuds/Opalsong)




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